Red Bull

The three wise men in Xmas carols were the Magi a Median priestly caste who rose to power in Ancient Persia, today’s Iran. Their religion, Zoroastrianism was founded by Zoroaster around the 6th century BC. The Magi were revered as highly educated scientists, scholars & shamans who could interpret dreams & control demons. Bede the Venerable the 8th century Christian saint said Melchio, king of Persia was an old man with white hair and long beard. His gift was gold.  Gaspar, king of India was young, beardless, of ruddy complexion. He brought baby Jesus incense. Baltasar, king of Arabia was black & had a heavy beard. His gift was myrrh.  

Eastern tradition says there were 12 Magi. The purported remains of the Magi were brought to Constantinople by St. Helena, mother of the 4th century Roman Emperor Constantine the Great, & later moved to Milan. In the 12th century they fell into the hands of Holy Roman emperor Frederick Barbarossa, who gave them to the Archbishop of Cologne, Germany. The archbishop built a cathedral for the relics in Cologne, where they remain to this day.  Cologne Cathedral was built to house the bones of Persian astrologers who found baby Jesus the son of god Christians still worship today.

The Holy Bible says Mary & Joseph arrived in Bethlehem & found there was no room in the Inn so they stayed in the stable where Mary a virgin gave birth to baby Jesus. As to whether Joseph cut the cord or celebrated with a glass of red wine we’ll never know. But what we do know now from recent research is that 4 wise men arrived on a camel train from Persia [Iran]. They had followed the star from the East & they brought rare expensive gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh & a case of Red Bull. By doing so they proved that Jesus was god.  Christmas is it was originally the birthday of Ahura Mazda the sun god the Persians worshipped and it was not included in the Christian calendar for more than 300 years. After Islamic militants invaded Persia sun worshippers who were not slaughtered took refuge in India where Hindus still love & worship cows & bulls.
Egyptians who built the great pyramids a few thousand years before baby Jesus was born drank beer after work so they could build great tombs for their sons of god. The wise man who brought Red Bull obviously thought beer would be a good drop for a god. He was wrong.

Some priests who already knew baby Jesus was the Messiah the Magi indentified heard about the beer so they evicted the wise man & his Red Bull. To this day Christians do not drink beer in church. Red wine has been the drink of choice in churches & a miracle transforms the red wine into the blood of the son of god in church services. Christians are very much into miracles. Surely Bacchus, Roman the god of wine, son of Jupiter and Semele & Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, son of Zeus and Semele must be smiling down from their couches in heaven.